London Has A New Skyscraper And It’s A Bit Of A Cock-Up

London has a habit of introducing quirky buildings, including the  ‘cheese grater’, ‘walkie talkie’ and the ‘gherkin’ but the latest one to be, erm, erected might need a bit of a rethink as, and we’re going to be blunt here – it resembles a massive penis. There, we said it.

Spire London, as it has been officially called, is a 67-storey, 235 metre high building – making it the tallest building in Western Europe.

From below the building looks innocent enough, but seen from above, it’s likely to induce some very immature giggles.

spire-london
London’s newest skyscraper, Spire London, stands at 235 metres high and seen from above, appears to resemble male genitalia. (Credit: Spire London HOK)

The £800 million building which will sit by Canary Wharf in London’s docklands and includes a gym, infinity pool, cinema and cocktail bar, has already been given a number of nicknames, including ‘Towering Innuendo,’ and ‘The Crystal Phallus.’ It’s being built by China’s biggest private property company, Greenland Group, and is due for completion in 2020.

The phallic design was completely accidental and was actually meant to resemble a ship, as a way of celebrating the area’s shipping history. Really? Did no one take a look at this and think “actually, guys, it does kind of look like a huge cock and balls.”

Online magazine ‘Londonist’ were the first to point out the uncanny resemblance, noting that it looks like a “massive dong.” Even more amusing, is that the building is located near the flightpath to City Airport, so passengers flying in will get to enjoy this lovely visual treat.

spire
The £800 million building has been built by China’s biggest private company and was designed to resemble a ship, to reflect the area’s shipping history. However, that’s not quite what people have been seeing… (Credit: SWNS)

When Spire London was first announced in September, it triggered controversy as plans showed that lower floors with ‘poor doors’ would be made for social tenants, whilst the higher ones would be exclusively for the rich, with an elevator to whisk them up to their penthouse suites.

Ignoring the fact that we’d be living in a massive willy, we would happily reside on any floor of this building.

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